When Expectations Turn Into Disappointment

Disappointment—don’t we all go through it?

We set expectations for ourselves in the past, the present, and even for the future. Yet often, things don’t go the way we anticipated. Are our expectations realistic, or are they unrealistic?

As I mentioned in an earlier post about navigating a layoff after 17.3 years, sometimes we put in the consistent work day in and day out, expecting growth, but never get the opportunity. Should we not set expectations for growth—for learning, applying ourselves, and doing everything wholeheartedly unto the Lord?

This season has made me think deeply about it. What happens when marriage doesn’t unfold as we anticipated? Or when ministry opportunities we’ve prayed for are given to someone else? Even when applying for jobs—sending resumes, doing assessments, showing up for interviews—sometimes the response is simply “no.”

Whatever the situation, we all know that sting of expecting a “yes” and receiving a “no.” The question is: how do we deal with disappointment?

We really only have two choices. We can allow bitterness and resentment to take root, letting circumstances destroy our peace and even distance us from the Lord. Or—we can choose to draw closer to Him, seeking Him first despite what we feel.

I’ll admit, it’s not easy. When anger, resentment, and endless questions rise up, forgiveness has to rise higher. Just as Scripture reminds us, forgiveness is not a one-time act but a continuous practice: “seventy times seven” (Matthew 18:22).

Managing emotions is difficult, but it matters. We can’t let them control us. Instead, we can seek the Lord for wisdom and understanding, and trust Him wholeheartedly:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.”
—Proverbs 3:5–6

In every circumstance, no matter how heavy, there is still joy to be found in the Lord. Even when happiness feels distant, our strength is renewed in Him.

Encouragement

Friend, if you are walking through disappointment today, know that you are not alone. The Lord sees you, hears you, and invites you to trust Him with your heartache. Joy in Him is not dependent on circumstances but on His unchanging love.

Closing Prayer

Lord, in the moments when disappointment feels overwhelming, help us not to let bitterness take root. Teach us to forgive, to release, and to trust You fully. Fill our hearts with Your wisdom, peace, and joy, even when circumstances don’t align with our expectations. Keep us close to You, and let us find strength in Your promises. Amen.